Monday, May 25, 2009

Countdown to Mariners Vs Armor: Five Days!

So the year's biggest moment in sports is nearly upon us. No, I'm not talking about the NBA or Stanley Cup Finals, nor am I talking about the Royals' 49th game of the season. This weekend Baltimore sports fans will be thinking about one thing: Ravens season is only three months away. But for the Mariner Maniacs, myself, and the seven other fans of the AIFA, we are counting down the days to the first ever meeting between the DC Armor and the Baltimore Mariners, or as I like to call it, "The Battle of the Irrelevants."

As many of you know, writing often times can be difficult. To come up with words so poetic on a regular basis is a task only few can achieve. That's why for inspiration I looked to the Baltimore Sun and the Washington Post to see what they were saying about the game. Sadly I found nothing. Apparently they devote space to real news.

However, in the small small world of the AIFA, this is the biggest thing to happen since the announcement of a expansion team in Trenton, NJ. A new rivalry will be formed between two cities both rich in history and beauty (well, at least one is). Abraham Lincoln once said "The best way to defeat an enemy is to make him your friend." But with all due respect to Lincoln, there is a better way. Beat them in a game of hard hitting, fast-paced, family friendly, indoor football.

Everyday until the big game, I will be previewing a different element of this historic match up, as no other media source is. The game might be played in Baltimore, but the home field advantage will be with the Armor. We're coming for you Mariners, and don't think any one of your numerous fan clubs can stop us.

13 comments:

  1. You are losing your edge Alex. Now should be the time to sharpen both your claws and your tongue. But remember... kevlar is your friend

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  2. ThisisnotMedievelTimesatthelocalmallpalThisispersonalItsnotabouttheMarinersManiacsDCsrichheritagetheAIFAhomefieldadvantagethetideAbrahamLincolndonatingmoneytoHamasyoupeiceofshityourirrelevantgradeschoolvideoplayingnogirlfriendmommysboynosepickingabortionofawebsitewithnothingelsebettertodoinbetweenvisitingpornsiteswithbelowgradelevelwritingskillsnolifeprobablydoesnthaveacarnorenoughhaironyourasstointroduceyourselftotheMarinerManiacfansItallaboutbeatingthefatboy. PeacePunk

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  3. Professional AntagonistMay 25, 2009 at 11:08 AM

    WTF?????? Space bar Anonymous, space bar!!!!!

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  4. Did that person say it is personal? Dude (Alex), if I were you, I would seriously consider laying low at the game on saturday. I am not sure these guys understand a joke, and having seen pics of you, you are outsized significantly. I fear for your safety.

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  5. First, the disclaimer needs an and between words "real" and "are." Second, GO ARMOR!

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  6. I took the liberty of adding spaces to the above post. I thought it would help make some sense out of thing. I was incorrect.
    ********
    This is not Medievel Times at the local mall pal This is personal Its not about the Mariners Maniacs DC s rich heritage the AIFA home field advantage the tide Abraham Lincoln donating money to Hamas you piece of shit your irrelevant grade school video playing no girlfriend mommys boy nose picking abortion of a website with nothing else better to do in between visiting porn sites with below grade level writing skills no life probably does not have a car nor enough hair on your ass to introduce yourself to the Mariner Maniac fans It all about beating the fat boy. Peace Punk

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  7. Well, I will not be in attendance for the Mariners v. Armor battle royale w/ cheese. It saddens me to have to miss this matchup of the century, as I was looking forward to the drubbing the Mariners of Baltimore will bestow upon the Armor of the District of Columbia, and ultimately, the impending demise of one Mr. Alex Zeldin.

    Alex, if I may, a nugget of advice. Do not, under any circumstance, venture to the Mariner Maniacs and extend a hand as an offering of peace. You may be pulling back a bloody stump. While not all of them possess violent tendencies, I can truly state that a couple of them are not afraid of a small stint in the pokey. In fact, I would be surprised to find out that a few of them may not be strangers to the maryland judicial system.

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  8. xmradiodave, or Mr. David Harrington, that's a bold statement for the communications director of the Mariners to make. Is that the kind of behavior the AIFA condones?

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  9. I am not the communications director of the Baltimore Mariners anymore. Someone is well behind on the times. So at this point, I am free to say as please. Fuck the Armor.

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  10. By the way Anonymous, why don't you enlighten us to who you are since you felt you could one-up me, only for you to end up looking like an ill informed twit.

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  11. Must be a reading inbred fan there dave

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  12. Okay guys i got to admit im a Pussy and will not be going to the arena. I know i will get beat up and im sorry for being a dickhead.

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